Julie Morgavi | MA, LMFT, KAP
Credentials
MA, LMFT #141092
Pepperdine | Graduate School of Education & Psychology: MA in Clinical Psychology with Emphasis in Marriage & Family Therapy
I work with Adolescents, Adults, Elders, Couples, and Families. My current practice includes the LBGTQ+ communities and a variety of beautiful diversity including (but not limited to) Asian, Hispanic, UK, Nigeria, Spain, the Dominican Republic, the Philippines, the Middle East, India, Israel, and Columbia. While having a comprehensive understanding, and consideration of the societal impact on these diversities is imperative, I have also come to appreciate all the fundamental commonalities we share in the human experience. Most of these include relating and the unfortunate, but all-too-common "perfect storm" of Old Wounds + Defenses + Poor Communication Skills, all of which are navigatable if both curiosity and willingness are present. I work with grief & loss, trauma, addiction, high-conflict divorce, suicide, parental alienation, adult child estrangement, 1st Generation issues, cult recovery (highly controlled environments/NRM: new religious movements,) academically & emotionally challenged children, phase of life transitions, as well as the anxiety, depression, and existential angst which often accompanies this journey of life.
I am always on the lookout to uncover the big and little T traumas. If I had a nickel for every client who told me they had no trauma in their history, well, I could buy a lot of over-priced coffees : ) To be clear, trauma is not just surviving assault, or war, or abuse, (though it is absolutely ALL those things), but it is anything, ANYTHING that overwhelms a person's emotional capacity to tolerate it. Equally as important is what resources and support you have. Was the care you received inadequate in navigating difficult experiences? Who was there to help you manage your pain? Or was that same person actually the source of your pain? How does that old pain/fear still show up today? And what can we do about it? There are many answers to be found there, and often many more questions. But all along the way, there is healing.
There is no greater reward than helping someone find answers where before there were none. Or helping a couple understand each other in ways they never could. Or just being a safe container in an overwhelming world. This is my second career. (This was my 1st) . I couldn't possibly imagine doing anything else for the rest of my life. It is a privilege.
I do believe walking through our own personal fire can help us relate and empathize in meaningful ways. I am mindful, though, of my own biases and countertransference. And even if we don't share the same experience, we share the ride of being human. Being truly seen and heard can be profoundly healing in and of itself. At the time of this writing, my actual chronological time as a therapist is relatively short, but the amount of lived experience is more than enough to help you navigate your challenges. Ever seen the movie “Slumdog Millionaire”? He went through some truly gnarly life experiences and then wound up on the gameshow "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" and was able to use all of those awful experiences to inform his answers. And he won! For me, it's like that. SO worth it.
I usually need to know about your family of origin. Which, I know, can be a mixed bag. I tend to rarely "blame" original caretakers (parents) however, ignoring the messages, patterns, and behaviors we internalized from those developmental years would be a detrimental oversight to understanding why you are who you are, feel what you feel, and do what you do. Additionally, I need to know how committed you are to doing the work. And to be clear, it is work. Emotional work. But it pays off. I promise.
On the contrary! Therapy is ONLY for the Brave. The "weak" need not apply (and usually don't). To be human is to be flawed and vulnerable. That goes for you and every person in your life. Let's share and celebrate our humanness and vulnerabilities and courageously lean forward in the direction of a better life.
Not gonna lie, if you've never done it before it can be weird at first. Telling a stranger the most vulnerable things about you and your family history? I get it. And I am particularly cognizant of those cultures for whom the concept of therapy is not only foreign but almost seen as an invasive betrayal of familial loyalties. But we won't be strangers for long. It can get messy, and painful and often gets worse before it gets better. But the possibility of a more peaceful, contented life, greater personal understanding and potential, and more harmonious relationships is priceless. If the scale is slowly tipping for you in the direction of therapy, give me a call, and let's talk about your reservations.
Try, try again!! Feeling connected to someone is a mysterious crapshoot! Please don't let not vibing with one therapist, or perhaps not feeling safe or heard in a therapeutic experience permanently color you on the possibility of healing. Please don't give up!
All roads lead to Rome! It doesn't matter where we jump in if you’re ready, we’ll still get there. My trauma-informed approach is based on Attachment Theory and CPTSD, and the idea that much of our conflict and distress stems from old wounds & unmet needs. De-coding this blueprint can provide a path toward healing and fulfillment. Relational issues, trauma, estrangement, and addiction, as well as unleashing the creative spirit, and living life “on purpose”, are all areas I am passionate about. I incorporate conventional therapeutic modalities and a Buddhist Psychology perspective. I embrace all forms of spirituality as a source of healing. Full disclosure, I believe in equality for all, am spiritually minded, and am a rabid ally for all underrepresented, disenfranchised, and marginalized communities. I place an exceptionally high value on the delicacy of the therapeutic process and the importance of the client-therapist relationship, particularly among culturally diverse clients. I strongly believe we are not meant to walk this earth alone and consider it an honor to be entrusted with the privilege of accompanying you on this experience of being human.
My view on the nature of "disorders" is that we are FIRST a living organism with an innate and primal desire to survive. As such, our survival instincts are usually what’s "runnin' the show." The oldest, most primal part of our brain (the Amygdala) has been wired since birth to scan for threats and adapt to our environment to survive. It runs on auto-pilot and does a great job of keeping us alive. Sometimes too good.
Feelings, while immensely important and highly informative, were often not welcome by others, and eventually by ourselves. Seen as uncomfortable, burdensome and inconvenient, they were stuffed away and sent down to the basement where we thought they would simply go away if we just ignored them. Unfortunately, they were actually down there lifting weights, getting stronger and more destructive, waiting for the most inopportune time and ineffective ways to be expressed. The big takeaway here is that they don't go away. They live in the body.
These feelings and the thoughts and behaviors that accompany them are often directly linked to the 4 main trauma responses that are in service of our survival and deserve to be seen through that lens. You might have heard of the typical trauma responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn. Very early on you figured out what "works" for you to stay safe. Very early on you assessed whether the threat (real, or perceived) is something you can FIGHT (Anger, protest, pursuit, hypervigilance), RUN from (Flight: anxiety, addictions, obsession compulsion. etc) and if we can't fight or run, we FREEZE (Depression, isolate, dissociate) or FAWN (people-please, co-dependency, caretaker). Very early on we learned what we needed to do, and who we needed to be to survive in the family we were born into. We adapted. It’s basic evolution: survival of the fittest. We adapt to our environment to survive. Unfortunately, those same adaptations that once saved us when we were younger, smaller and powerless, often become liabilities as adults. It is these adaptations, these trauma responses that often become characterized as "Disorders." What they actually are, are necessary "adaptations" to our environment for the purpose of safety and ensuring our survival. All this is to say, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! It never was.
However, if you'd like to live a more functioning, happy, healthy, harmonious, and successful life, it IS your responsibility. So here we are. Let's figure it.
Some Thoughts On Therapy
The opposite of addiction is connection. While I completely understand there are medical and biological components to addiction, I embrace the concept that the source lies in how safe, connected and fulfilled we feel in the world. I lean heavily on a Buddhist-based recovery model as well as a deeper dive into unmet needs and the difficult task of existing.
Parental Alienation/Estrangement is one of the least talked about and most painful experiences out there. It’s complicated and can be crippling. Though there are no guarantees these occurrences can ever be completely resolved, there are certainly a variety of avenues to explore on the way to understanding, accepting and healing. Having support for these situations is crucial. For more resources please see Recommended Reading section and visit:
As a biological organism, we are designed for survival and to attach to a secure base, a primary caretaker. How reliably our survival needs were met determined the regulation of our autonomic nervous system thus affecting our attachment “system," Attachment needs show up in most of our subsequent relationships throughout our lives and the behaviors we develop as a way to get our needs met can occasionally be counterproductive to actually getting those needs met. Healing begins with understanding this concept, identifying maladaptive behaviors, and learning coping, soothing and communication skills to develop more effective ways of having our primal attachment needs met.
We are born into relationship, we are wounded in relationship and we can heal in relationship. Most relationships are just individuals, whether couples, families or any other significant partnership who are trying to get needs met often using language that is misunderstood and behavior that is counterproductive. Effective communication is the key. Often simple. Rarely easy.